Isaiah 7 (Introduction): Love and Hate OR I am Israel; Am I Isaiah-like or Ahazish

This is a lump of what is now called earthenware clay – to differentiate it from more modern oil and plastic based clays.  If you are into pottery or sculpturing you can expect to pay anywhere from .03 cents to almost a cent per ounce.  Expensive stuff, right? 

Yet here is another piece of clay, weighing in at less than an ounce.  Once upon a time it was discarded as used up trash, not even worth a few cents- yet now it is considered a near priceless treasure.  It was used by a man named Ahaz, who just happened to be King of Judah from about 732-716 B.C., to seal up some important document.  A bulla, like this one, was used to make sure important documents were not tampered with.  First the letter or scroll was tied with a string, then the bulla was put over top the knot, and then a signet ring would be used to press the bulla into the string and leave an imprint identifying where the important document came from.  Tampering with a bulla with a king’s seal generally meant certain death.  After the recipient received the important document with bulla/string combo intact, the bulla would have no further use. The ones that have survived are generally found in the burnt out ruins of sacked cities. The “burnt out” part is important because the burning of the city worked like a kiln for the bulla changing it from a piece of hardened clay trash to a well preserved historical treasure.  
 Amazing what fire can do! And amazing how two lumps of seemingly ordinary clay, so to speak, can be valued so very differently.  Even if I took that lump of clay and modeled it to look exactly like the original bulla, it would still be virtually worthless. Why is one a treasure and the other not?  In a word- authenticity.  No matter how careful I am, no matter how faithfully I mimic the original, from my finite position I cannot create a bulla that was actually there at the time of Ahaz.  In to which he pressed his signet ring.  That has a thumb print permanently fixed by fire that if it does not belong to Ahaz, certainly belongs to someone who worked closely with him.  No, those are all things that I, in my present limited sphere, cannot remake – no one can. And those irreplaceable intangible things that make it authentic are also what make it such a treasure. 

Which brings me to a promise I read some years back that stirred deep within me a sense of hope and awe, something I now recognize as the authentic whisperings of the Holy Ghost, but then only knew that it riveted my attention soul deep.  It was some months after the experience I described in “What’s IN the Question.” (9-30-2010).  I had been thinking about the Savior’s admonition that “where your treasure is, there will your heart be also,” and thinking about what I truly treasured and, as I’ve said before, how hard bad habits of thought and desire are to break. (Matthew 6:21)  This led me to do a topical search on the word “treasure.”  When I read this one, it seemed that it was addressed to me personally.  To me it read:

“Behold, thou art (Annette), and I have spoken to thee because of thy desires; therefore treasure up these words in thy heart.  Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love.”  (D&C 6:20)

First, I thought of my desires.  They were a mixed bag, but wanting to know the truth and live faithful to it was certainly there, and most of the time it mattered most.  I seemed to hear that still, soft instructor teach me not to be discouraged by my imperfections – He wasn’t – but to just concentrate on the Lord’s instruction and promise.  It occurred to me that I had resented so much the constant reminders of my duty to study the scriptures, and approached the scriptures so doggedly, that I hadn’t even considered they might bring a treasure hunt even more exciting that the searching for and finding lost historical treasures.  What a difference that approach made!  It wasn’t long before I decided my encounters with scripture treasure should not occur at bedtime- it was all too exciting and I needed sleep.  

And some months later when my 3 year old daughter and I had a rare, baby-brother free moment, I was startled to realize just how fully the promise that I would be “encircled in the arms of (his) Love”  was being fulfilled in my life.  She was sitting on my lap, with my arms wrapped around her and holding up the book we were reading together.  She snuggled into me as we explored Chicka, Chicka, Boom, Boom together, and I wished so much there was some way she could know how precious she is to me.  After she was asleep I felt the need to open the scriptures and spend a little more time with the Lord – even if it cost me precious sleep.  I can’t tell you what I read, but I can tell you how it felt.  I saw in my mind’s eye that there were moments in my searching and treasuring those words that I was the little child nestled in the arms of a loving parent as I learned the ABC’s of spiritual growth.  I knew that He wanted me to know how infinitely precious I was to Him.  It was an irreplaceable, intangible priceless treasure.

I thought of that experience recently as I, once again, found my study of Isaiah 7-9 (they just go together) leading me on a tremendously rich expedition through the scriptures.  One of the first things that struck me, one that I had not explored before, is oddity of the little meeting between King Ahaz and Isaiah at the beginning of chapter 7.  Now it is not the content of meeting, so much as where it is recorded that struck me anew.  By the time King Ahaz came to full power Isaiah had been prophesying for years.  And yet the retelling of this meeting comes directly after Isaiah recounts his meeting with the Lord which happened years before, in the year Ahaz’s grandfather died.  In that meeting Isaiah received a much deeper, but not unrelated reassurance to the one I received – that his deepest desire to serve and learn from the God of truth and light, coupled with actions inspired by that desire, were enough- the Lord wasn’t overly concerned with Isaiah’s imperfections because the atonement had already made it possible for what he lacked to be bridged and for Isaiah to know what it meant to be “encircled about in His arms” and to learn personally from Him.  Increasingly, everything about this mortal opportunity became a means for Isaiah to grow, learn, and prepare for the greatest of all treasures.   And as Isaiah is not the only child of God to enter mortality, God has made the same offer available to all his children.

“Seek not for riches but for wisdom; and behold the mysteries of God shall be unfolded unto you, and then shall you be made rich.  Behold he that hath eternal life is rich.” (D&C 11:7)

and

“And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God.”  ( D&C 14:7)

In short, Isaiah was one example we can study and learn from, who did accept the Lord’s love and love him in return.  His writings abound with wonder and surety that, though he lived in horribly tumultuous times, he also lived with an assurance that he was encircled, cared for, and instructed by the Lord every step of the way.  (See Deuteronomy 32:10 including footnotes.)

Enter Ahaz.  If ever there was a compelling counter-example to the choices Isaiah made and the eternal consequences of those choices, not only for him, but for countless of his brothers and sisters, it is Ahaz.  I think it jumped out at me so forcefully because since the last time I read through Isaiah I relearned about Ahaz’s life- and this time it seems to have stuck and added context to this interview.

First note that Isaiah was told by the Lord where he could meet up with Ahaz in a public venue.  In other words, the message Isaiah was to deliver to Ahaz wouldn’t make it if Isaiah simply tried, as was the norm, to get an audience with Ahaz.  Ahaz had no desire to hear from Jehovah’s messenger.  This is particularly noteworthy when you read the historical context because Ahaz was grappling with international problems that threatened his reign and his kingdom.  

At this time Assyria had become the dominate power.  In fact it had been increasing in power and dominance for nearly 200 years and was, at that point, the most extensive empire the world had yet seen. The Assyrian kingdom had been around a lot longer than Judah, but it had started as an even smaller city state.  Most of the nations around Judah, including Israel, were reluctant vassals who were brutally forced to pay tribute, on and off, to Assyria.  I say on and off because there had been years of civil unrest in Assyria - like say when there was a fight for the throne – when the vassals tended to go their own way.  Israel had fairly recently been brutally recalled to its onerous duty by the current Assyrian King, Tiglath-pileser.  Its neighbor, Syria, had suffered the same fate.  Judah, up to this point had remained independent. The king of Israel, Pekah, and the king of Syria, Rezin, had come to Ahaz and argued that it was only a matter of time until Tiglath-pileser made his way to Judah, and that Judah should unite with them to overthrow their Assyrian overlords.  Ahaz thought it very unwise to risk catching Assyria’s attention by siding with rebellious vassals.  Reasonable: if the Assyrian king wasn’t focused on his little kingdom, why risk declaring himself an enemy?   Rezin and Pekah did not like Ahaz’s refusal to unite with them, so they decided to overthrow Ahaz and place a king on the throne of Judah who would be more amenable to an alliance with them.   Their first attempt failed in that goal, but it was a costly win for Ahaz.  He lost a province as well as suffered heavy losses to his army.  Now word had come that Pekah and Rezin would try again. 

“And when the house of David was informed…the king’s mind and minds of his people were shaken, as trees in a forest are shaken by the gale.  (Isaiah 7:2 as translated by Avraham Gileadi)

Pretty powerful picture.  Can you imagine what it would feel like to be leaf blown about by gale force winds?  What an apt word-picture to describe the inability of King Ahaz to save himself and his kingdom.  There was simply no earthly way for Judah to be able to stand against it would be allies, and even less chance it could withstand the unstoppable Assyrian army.  It would take a miracle along the lines of, say, the parting of the Red Sea- which is exactly what Isaiah is authorized to offer Ahaz as proof that Jehovah’s “hand” is not “shortened at all that it cannot redeem, or … deliver.”  (Isaiah 50:2)  Ahaz is told not to fear, and that as he can ask for “a sign of the Lord thy God; ask it either in the depth, or the heights above.”  (Isaiah 7:11)

Ahaz’s response is an absolute refusal to test or prove Jehovah.   Now, again, mark the contrast.  Isaiah lives in Judah; he has a family.  This is a scary proposition for him, too.  But he doesn’t get offered a miraculous sign- he doesn’t need it because he is in that lovely, encircled position, and the Lord is able to speak directly to him and tells him, just as he had Isaiah tell Ahaz, not to fear this conspiracy.  What is recorded next resonated with me long before I came to appreciate the beauty and depth, and brilliance of how the words fit together.

“Sanctify (set apart, separate and make more important than anything else) the Lord of Hosts himself, and let him be your fear (the thing that moves you – think of the picture of the leaves in the wind) and your dread (what you consider so powerful it causes you awe or dread) and he shall be for (you) a sanctuary (a place set apart where one finds purpose, rest, peace, sustenance, hope, salvation.)” (Isaiah 8:13-14 also see Jeremiah 17:7-8 for  a tree  word- picture comparison.)

Just as in English, “sanctify” and “sanctuary” are variations on the same word that indicates, at its root, something set apart for a special purpose.  Jacob, another prophet trying to teach his people the same marvelous principle used these words:

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, I beseech of you in words of soberness that ye would repent (return), and come with full purpose of heart, and cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you.  And while his arm of mercy is extended towards you in the light of day, harden not your hearts.”  (Jacob 6:5)

The word cleave means to join with, and is a synonym with a word used a few times when describing the Lord’s love for his children.  The word most commonly used for love means much like our love, to have affection for and place a priority on, and that is the word the used in the commands given to us to love the Lord.  But this word means to join with or be bound to because of affection, it is also translated as delight in.  In other words, those who sanctify the Lord or cleave to the Lord come to see… well:

While we may look at the vast expanse of the universe and say, “What is man in comparison to the glory of creation?” God Himself said we are the reason He created the universe! His work and glory—the purpose for this magnificent universe—is to save and exalt mankind.⁸ In other words, the vast expanse of eternity, the glories and mysteries of infinite space and time are all built for the benefit of ordinary mortals like you and me. Our Heavenly Father created the universe that we might reach our potential as His sons and daughters.

This is a paradox of man: compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God. (President Dieter F. Uctdorf,“You Matter to Him,” Ensign, November 2011)

But, if you look at the rest of Isaiah 8:14, you see that even though God doesn’t change, the way his children perceive all that he has prepared for them does.  What was created to “save and exalt mankind” becomes a “stone of stumbling” and “rock of offense.”  Instead of a sanctuary they feel they are in a place they fall, stumble, are broken, snared and taken captive.  Note, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Daniel, and many others lived through the same outward circumstances, but that didn’t stop them from knowing the Lord was their sanctuary and this mortal experience served its purpose in their eternal lives.  The difference is not in the outward circumstance, but, once again the heart of the matter lies within- do we love, sanctify, and cleave to the Lord or do we hate.

I realize hate is a very strong word in English.  But the Hebrew is much deeper and encompasses many attitudes, frames of mind and heart, so to speak, that all have one thing in common:

“Behold, (mankind) do(es) not desire that the Lord their God, who hath created them, should rule and reign over them; notwithstanding his great goodness and his mercy towards them, they do set at naught (place little to no value) his counsels, and they will not that he should be their guide.:”  (Helaman 12:6) 

The Hebrew word for “hate” adds to this wonderful description a powerful word- picture.  It is made from the word that also means “thorn” (as in a prickly thing that keeps the unwanted at a distance) and another root that means “strength, power, or authority.”    Mormon nailed it, didn’t he. And, Ahaz provides a particularly compelling example.

 It is probable that Isaiah met up with Ahaz after he had already come to a critical decision, in which he had decided it was not the Lord God of Israel he would cleave to.  Hence, he wasn’t interested in any show of power or authority from Him.  Instead, he had decided he would go to the King of Assyria and offer to align his country voluntarily.  The strategy was that if Assyria had a goose that voluntarily laid the golden egg, so to speak, it would take care of that golden goose instead of eating it for dinner, right?   So, if Ahaz shared Judah’s wealth and resources voluntarily he would stay on the throne and Assyria would take care of its rebel vassals, who were currently his greatest threat. (Which it immediately did.)   And there was one place he could get his he hands on the needed treasure without either using his own wealth, or taking it from his princes – the temple. That’s right, Ahaz planned to use the tithes and offerings, under the Mosaic Law considered God’s property and not the property of the King, to pay tribute to the King of Assyria.

Please understand that the small city state of Ashur, which was the beginning of the Assyrian Empire, was built in honor of and dedicated to Ashur, the ward god in the Mesopotamian pantheon of gods.  The king of Assyria, being the leader of the nation’s armies, was also considered the highest ecclesiastical authority.  No pesky priests or prophets to question his authority!  Moreover, while it started as a much smaller kingdom than Judah, it had successfully become the greatest empire the world had yet known.  Ahaz’s choice was not only to align with the King of Assyria, but to pay homage to the god that had apparently worked so well for Tiglath-pileser.  Tiglath-pileser was a king who had complete command, and whose god, according to his beliefs, worked as a powerful ally. 

 In fact, from a certain perspective, you could even say that Ashur worked as a powerful servant.  Tiglath-pileser wanted more land, more power, and more wealth.  He made the appropriate sacrifices (often other humans) to his powerful servant/ally and then Ashur put his power behind Tiglath-pileser’s efforts and, according to Assyrian lore, so completely vanquished the gods of the countries they conquered that those gods left for good. What Ashur never did was try to tell Tiglath-pileser what to do.  He never sent messengers to chastise and correct, to give direction that, based on our current human perspective, seemed very impractical. 

Ashur was a god Ahaz could love, so much so, that when he returned from Assyria he ordered the temple remodeled after what he saw in Assyria!  In didn’t work out as well as he wished, even though he did go so far as to make his son a human sacrifice.  In fact at some point he became quit miserable and disillusioned, and the temple doors were barred and nailed shut. He died a man so hated by his own people that it was agreed, without protest, that he would not be buried on the consecrated ground set apart for the Davidic kings.  He paid such a huge price for his choice! (2 Kings 16, 2 Chronicles 28)

Isaiah and Ahaz were two men, so similar in that they were both born into the ruling class in the same society, both educated on the Mosaic Law, and they faced many of the same obstacles and questions about life and faith.  They both faced, at its most basic, the same spiritual choice. One chose the authentic God, and came to declare with wonder and awe his amazement at all his Lord had done for Israel.  He repeatedly bears his witness of what God has done for him personally.  He knows he is not more loved than any other of God’s children, and bear witness he became a type, a sign and wonder, of what the Lord can do with any piece of willing human clay. 

Isaiah is, of course, just one example given in the scriptures.  One other example I think illustrates so well the choice placed before both Ahaz and Isaiah is about a King that had everything Ahaz went shopping for a "better" servant/god to obtain.  Known to us as King Lamoni's father, He was high King over a large kingdom- even his own sons bowed to him.  He had been taught all his life that whatever he chose was right- no pesky prophets bothering or arguing with him!  He had wealth and power and no major threats to his throne or his kingdom.  Yet, when he saw something he couldn’t explain, namely, evidence of God’s great love in the form of an enemy willing to risk his life for another, he made a choice.  Note how small the evidence was, say in comparison to the parting of the Red Sea!  His beautiful prayer captures for all to see and treasure the pivotal choice of mortality:

And it came to pass that when Aaron had said these words, the kind did bow down before the Lord upon his knew; yea, even he did prostrate himself upon the earth and cried mightily, saying:  Oh God, Aaron hath told me that there is a God; and if there is a God, and if thou art God, wilt thou make myself known unto me, and I will give away all my sins to know thee…” (Alma 22:17-18)

A truly pivotal choice.  One it seems, if you are anything like me, you have to repeatedly renew.  Yet it is the choice that makes the difference ind what we obtain through mortality.  It also is the choice that opens up the  treasure of "great worth" found in the messianic prophecies given through Isaiah. (2 Nephi 25:8,3 Nephi 22:1)  But that is a discussion for next time.

 

 

It's Puzzling

I love puzzles. I haven't always enjoyed them as I do now. Doing puzzles takes a certain patience and a confidence that with time and effort there is a solution. Ironically, I really began to enjoy doing them when my children were small and my time especially limited. It corresponded to the time in my life when I first really approached the scriptures and God with that admission that I lacked wisdom, and that if He would answer, I would follow his instruction at least as fervently than I had my college professors. So the time I spent on puzzles was often a time for meditating on what I was learning. Puzzles became personal parables for me. For instance, look at these few pieces? Can you discern the picture on the puzzle correctly from just these few pieces? It is near impossible. Likewise, when we shut out the tutelage of the Lord, from our decidedly limited, finite experience, we have so little to go on that what we purpose as the "true" picture of life and its purpose, is no where near the whole picture, the picture our Heavenly Father sees, or real truth,- "things as they are, and as the were, and as they are to come." (Doctrine & Covenants 93:24, Jacob 4:13)

There was one particular puzzling lesson that has had great significance in my life. My sister had come to visit and we did more than one puzzle during her stay. We didn't finish the second one before she had to leave, and I was determined to finish it. There was this one piece I was just sure should fit in a particular part of the emerging picture. The area I thought it went in, when completed, would go along way toward pulling together other completed parts. But it didn't work. I stared, I tried it in a variety of ways, I gave up and went on, but it bugged me so I came back to it. I probably wasted hours of limited puzzle time trying to make that piece fit. As it turned out, I was right about that piece being pivotal in the puzzle coming together, but the piece I was trying didn't fit because it was never apart of that puzzle. It was a piece from the previous puzzle that had somehow been missed. Despite the fact that the pictures on the two puzzles were very different, this one piece looked similar in coloring and form to the piece that did eventually fit and complete the puzzle. A piece that had been lying ignored, in a pile of pieces near my hand, while I wasted time and effort with the wrong piece. It was amazing how quickly it all fell into place when I put aside the wrong piece and began trying the right one. Truly amazing.

That little puzzle adventure became a lasting lesson for me because it corresponded to, and became instrumental in, my considering the idea of putting aside long held assumptions- in the chance that those assumptions might be like the mistaken puzzle piece- looking a lot like the real thing, but, in fact, being only a distraction. A distraction, that, if I continued to concentrate on, would prevent me from finding the real pieces; the ones that would help the puzzling pieces of this mortal experience come together the way our loving Heavenly Father intended.

It was the word "jealous" I was particularly considering, along with sister concepts like "anger" and "wrath." In the American Heritage Dictionary, under the entry for "jealous", it actually uses the Lord's word from Exodus 19:5, "I…am a jealous God" to illustrate what it means to be "intolerant of disloyalty or infidelity; autocratic; fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position." For years, based on a scriptural commentary I saw as a young adult, I looked at the account of the Tower of Babel as an illustration of God, "autocratically" using his power to punish those who offended Him. I found it a particularly troublesome interpretation because there is such an obvious clear link between God's actions being seen that way, and men justifying truly "autocratic," controlling, cruel, selfish, unChristlike behavior, by quoting such scriptures. Using the English definition of the word just didn't fit with my own recent experiences, and such clear statements as: (John 3:16)

God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him might not perish, but have everlasting life.

Listen to him who is your advocate…pleading your cause…. (Doctrine & Covenants 45:3)

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. That ye may be children of your Father which is in heaven…. (Matthew 5:44-45) 

(God) doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the word; for he loveth the world….(2 Nephi 26:24)

Our use of the word "jealous" really never focuses on the "benefit" of the others involved. It is a selfish emotion. However, being "zealous" is another matter entirely. Did you know that in Hebrew, Greek, and English that the root of both "zealous" and "jealous" is "zeal." In fact the exact same word is translated as both "jealous" and "zealous" in the Old Testment. Zeal is defined as Enthusiastic devotion to a cause, ideal, or goal and tireless diligence in its furtherance. Zeal is not competative, autocratic, or fearful- it indicates devotion. It is not, in and of itself, negative or positive, but can become either depending on the ideal or cause which is so passionately, devotedly, advocated. And the Lord's cause? Us, His children, and His desire to prepare us to receive all that He is and has.

Interstingly, the Hebrew word, which is translated as both "zealous" and "jealous" can be literally translated "to gather for the seeds (young)" or "to nest." (Ancient Hebrew Lexicon of the Bible, Jeff A. Benner, P.246-247) The word derives its meaning from the tireless, focused work that we see in birds building a nest and then nurturing, protecting, and providing for their young. It idicates something more than devotion to an ideal, but something far more personal and intimate- devotion to those you build for, provide for, protect, teach and enable. Interstingly, while our use of the word "jealous" goes hand in hand with the use of the word "of," indicating a recognition of competition or loss- the word translated "jealous" in the Old Testament is curiously coupled with the word "for" meaning "in behalf of." (Joel 2:18, Zechariah 8:2)

Oh, the pieces, the many, many verbal pieces of scripture that this understanding of "jealous God" begins to bring together. Not only the scriptures on love, but the many times He declares his devotion and desire to enable, strengthen, and provide for us as we grow and gain the experience and knowledge we came here to gain, for example:

For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee…. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me. (Isaiah 49:15-16, 1 Nephi 21:16-17)

I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, be strong and of a good courage….This book of law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein…that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein; for then thou shalt make they way prosperous, and then thou shall have good success….Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed; for the Lord They God is with thee withersoever thou goest. (Joshua 1:5-9)

Verily, verily, I say unto you ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath in his own hands and prepared for you; and ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer for I will lead you along...And he that receiveth all thing with thankfulness shall be made glorious. (Doctrine & Covenants 78:17-19)

Did you see the connection between receiving the devoted care of the Lord and willingly taking instruction from Him? This in turn, helps with other terms like anger or wrath. When Lehi is giving his final counsel to his two rebellious sons he explains the anger of the Lord.

(B)ehold, his sharpness was the sharpness of the power of the word of God, which was in him; and that which ye call anger was the truth, according to that which is in God. (2 Nephi 1:26)

There is so much that has been offered and provided for us- so much at stake- that a infinitely wise, loving and devoted Father cannot let us throw it away without doing all that is in his power, while protecting and enabling the gift of agency, to make clear the truth of the situation. Things as they are, as they were, and as they will be.

Essentially this is what the gospel is: counsel from a living Father who says to his children, “You have limitless, everlasting possibilities. You also have your freedom. It’s up to you how you use it. This is what you can become if you take my advice—and this is what will happen if you don’t. The choice is yours.” (Richard L. Evans, “Should the Commandments Be Rewritten?,” Ensign, Dec 1971, 57)

And so we are back to the Tower of Babel, and the very different picture that emerges from the perspective of seeing God, not as our English "jealous" and "angry" would indicate. But as a devoted, loving, respectful Father, who used his inifinite knowledge, wisdom and love in taking action to give His children every opportunity to learn of their endless possiblities, while at the same time diffusing a difficult and spiritually dangerous situation. Despite the flood being a very recent, real event, those who had gained power were using it to encourage, some accounts say force, their society to openingly turn their back on the Father's advice. The story of the Jaredites in the Book of Mormon shows us what a merciful act this was.(See Ether 1) This act of intervention and advocacy from the Lord showed the people of Babel "things as they are." They had a witness that God is real, as well as one of their own limited power. It was mercifully given in a way that gave years of mortal opportunity without war, bloodshed, famine, or floods. Also, the difficulty of the situation encouraged the Jaredites among others, to go to their Father for answers. To begin to receive, piece by piece, a correct understanding of this eternally important and pivitol opportunity we call life.

I can't help but surmise that among the words of the Lord the Jaredites had, were treasures similar to the verses quoted above. And that as they opened their hearts to His words, they had sparkling, vivid, joy infusing moments like the one I had during particular worrisome time a few years ago. I read 1 Nephi 21:16, and felt myself wrapped in feelings of sparkling reassurance as the words became so very personal. They seemed to read:

Behold I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; (the walls of your home) are continually before me. Peace, be still.

Through The Storm

All right, I admit it. For many years of my life the very name "Noah" did not conjure up good feelings. This section of scripture- namely Genesis 6-10, was one of my first and most intense "exaltation" experiences. (See "My How To Book") When I first read it for myself, at about age 7, it seemed that God mirrored in so many way the capricious and vengeful (in the most modern and worst sense of the word) ancient gods I'd been reading of in a series of books with legends from around the world. It is amazing how tenacious can be the impressions of our youth! By the time I taught the Old Testament in early morning seminary, I had read and reread both accounts in Genesis and Moses, and read every article on the subject I could, spiritual or scholarly. I think I was in a place similar to what my daughter described about the word "exalt"- I knew the problem was not with what the Lord taught and could see how a change in perspective really did show this story to be another example of the Lord's love- but I was relieved when the lesson passed and I could move on, past the residue of confused feelings that continued to darken this part of the scriptures for me.


When did that darkness completely dissipate? I'm not sure, but as I read the account this time it came alive with vibrant meaning for me, here, now. It was like that perfect moment early in the morning when the deep purples, blues, and pinks of dawn are in perfect balance with the first burst of sunlight over the mountain. The colors are so beautiful and serve to emphasize the wonder- often taken for granted once the sun's light has completely dissipated the darkness- of a new day, of life, of eternal hope. "Which hope, cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men." (Ether 12:4) The hope and anchor Paul knew when he wrote:

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor thing present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romas 8:38-39)
As Paul carefully explains earlier in the chapter, the only thing that can separate us from the strengthening, healing, redeeming love of God is our rejection of it. That is so important to understand when approaching this epoch story.

Elder David A. Bednar noted the use of the word unto: “Please notice how the power of the Spirit carries the message unto but not necessarily into the heart. … Ultimately, … the content of a message and the witness of the Holy Ghost penetrate into the heart only if a receiver allows them to enter.” (2 Nephi 33:1)

Why just unto the heart? Individual agency is so sacred that Heavenly Father will never force the human heart, even with all His infinite power. Man may try to do so, but God does not. To put it another way, God allows us to be the guardians, or the gatekeepers, of our own hearts. We must, of our own free will, open our hearts to the Spirit, for He will not force Himself upon us. (Gerald N. Lund, “Opening Our Hearts,” Ensign, May 2008, 32–34)

Now let's think about what happened during the time when Enoch and his people were building Zion. According to our record, Enoch humbly recognized those he spoke to as his brethren, equally loved of God and equally capable of deciding for themselves. Under the Lord's direction, he pleaded with them to consider the world on which they stood, and the magnitude of creation, and to stop denying their creator. Some listened and began to "experiment upon (the) words" that Enoch taught and to repent (turn back) to the Lord. (Alma 32:27, Enoch 7) Those who listened to Enoch, were so unpopular they had to flee for their lives. It took moving mountains, literally, to get those who wanted them dead to stand off. Zion was protected until the people had become beings who could comfortably dwell and learn in the presence of God. (A testimony that no one has power to thwart the purposes and opportunities that are important for our eternal growth, if we rely on the Lord.)

When the enemies of Zion noticed it was gone, they gloated that "Zion had fled."(Moses 7:69) In other words, "We won, they fled, we have successfully cast them out from among us!" Nor was the world any more accepting of those who remained behind to carry on the Lord's work. Noah not only dealt with mockery as he taught and warned, but attempts on his life. (Moses 8:18)
This correlates to a repeated pattern taught in all the scriptures, but expressly spelled out in the Book of Mormon:

Yea, and I say unto you that if it were not for the prayers of the righteous, who are now in the land that ye would even now would be visited by utter destruction; yet it would not be by flood, as were the people in the days of Noah, but it would be by famine, and by pestilence and by the sword.

But it is by the prayers of the righteous that ye are spared; now therefore, If ye will cast out the righteous from among you then will not the lord stay his hand; (Alma 10:23-24)

That imagery,of the Lord's hand, is also central in what the Lord relates to Enoch about the flood:

The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold, I am God; man of Holiness is my name, man of counsel is my name; and Endless sand Eternal is my name also. Wherefore, I can stretch forth mine hands and hold all the creations which I have made; and mine eye can pierce them also, and among all the workmanship of mine hands there has not been so great wickedness (rejection of the Lord's directions and power) as among they brethren. (Moses 7:35-36)

Just as the Lord won't force us to open our hearts-he won't force us, once we have intentionally and decidedly rejected his power, to live with the organizing, creating, sustaining, enabling grace which holds all creation together.  For visualization purposes it is as if we are held lovingly in the cupped palm of his hand, and when we insist, the palm straightens out, pulls away, and we are "free" to fall. 

Seeing and living through the effects of the Lord withdrawing -and the earth momentarily re-experiencing a piece of its primordial chaos- was so horrific that the righteous (namely Enoch and Noah) prayed that the Lord would never again withdraw so completely.  The Lord did promise, and as pointed out in the scripture above, is able to enforce eternal laws and justice equally well through other means. But, there are eternally significant reasons why the flood did happen, not the least of which is its testimony of both the Lord's power and our own position and need of him. A heartbreaking global example of the truth which is so aptly illustrated by this passage:

All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field…Behold the nations are as a drop of the bucket, and are counted as the small dust of the balance; behold, (God) taketh up the isles as a very little thing….It is He that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the inhabitants thereof are as grasshoppers; (He) bringeth the princes to nothing; he maketh the judges of the earth as vanity. (Isaiah 40:8-23)

Remember that all the Lord says and does, he does for our benefit (John 3:16, 2 Nephi 26:23) So, the account of the flood also carries a message of profound, infinite hope. Hope that even if the whole world falls apart, if we choose the Lord, He will be with us even as he was with Noah:

Wherefore Enoch saw that Noah built and ark; and that the Lord smiled upon it, and held it in his own hand....(Moses 7:43)

Also, remember:

Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing, and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father, but the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. (Matthew 10:29-30)

The Savior spoke those last words to his apostles before sending them out to teach. He knew they would face opposition. He prepared them for it, even telling them they would be scourged for their testimony of Him. His admonition was given to strengthen them and help them keep their perspective in the midst of difficulty. To help them look for and see how the hand of the Lord was upholding them, strengthening and enabling them to become. Now let's consider for a moment how the same was true for Noah, another faithful follower of Christ.
According to the record the flood was a storm unlike any we see today. The rain was continuous for 40 days and winds never ceased. We know the kinds of conditions that a severe storm can cause in a matter of minutes. A Tornado can wipe out a town. When that kind of storm combines over water, we call it a hurricane, and it can create a force more powerful and destructive than several atomic bombs. We know that vessels of twice the recorded size and stature of the ark have been broken to bits by lesser storms. If you've seen the recent articles on rogue waves or movies such as The Perfect Storm, you get some idea of the miracle it was that the ark survived the storm. And you get a glimpse into the level of individual care and infinite control the Lord exercises for each one of his children, if they will allow. And you also get a glimpse into the character of Noah.

Again, our experience tells us that passing through a decidedly lesser storm is an uncomfortable experience at best. The ark was not a luxury vessel- it had no heat or other accommodations. Jewish tradition recounts that Noah and his family suffered from cold, and with illness severe enough that he coughed up blood. (Hugh Nibley, Abraham in Egypt, Deseret Book, 1981, p.264) After living through these difficulties, what is his first act upon leaving the ark? It was to "build and altar to the Lord" and offer sacrifice in gratitude. Yes, he was supported by the hand of the Lord through this experience, but, no, he was not denied the oppositional opportunities for growth that come with challenges. Most importantly, he was able to profit because he recognized, with gratitude the hand that supported his every breath through the whole eternally profitable learning experience. In turn, this account can help us maintain perspective as we try to understand the difficult storms that come into our lives. Help us to not focus on the dark, cold, and discomfort, but instead discern the hand that is, even in the midst of the storm, upholding us- ensuring that even as we are tossed, we are moving forward toward our eternal goals-being prepared to see the Lord's promises fulfilled in our own lives:

The grass withereth, the flower fadeth; but the word of our God shall stand for ever…Behold, the Lord God will come with strong hand….
Hath thou not know? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary?

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall;

 But they that wait (move forward with hope) upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles….(Isaiah 40 10,28-31)

My "How To" Book

Teenager- what feelings does that word conjure for you? For me, it is a term full of promise. My daughter is a senior in high school, and in six short months will become a legal adult. There have been more than a few tense moments over the past year, as we try and find a parent/child relationship to fit this new time in her life. But any tense moments are made up for when I see that look in her eyes. You know, the one that means she is excited by all the possibilities of life and is looking forward to building a life of her own. If I have one hope for her, it is that she will always enjoy moments in her life filled with that kind of excitement and hope. I have first hand proof it is possible- even in a world filled with mishaps and misunderstandings.

A few months back, she and I were driving in the car having a light discussion of her study of the New Testament in Seminary. If I remember correctly we were discussing the idea of heaven and somewhere along the way I used the word "exaltation." She then shared with me that "exaltation" was one of her least favorite words. I was surprised. I can't remember a time when the word "alt" didn't conjure up feelings of light and happiness, almost ready to explode. And "exalt," well of course that is happiness even above and beyond "alt." To me the word "exalt" just feels like something wonderful.

Apparently my daughters experience in learning the word was very different. She pointed out that "exalt" had never been a vocabulary word in school, but she had heard it at church. People used it like everyone should know what it means, but she never heard anyone actually clarify what it meant. It was often tied to cautions about what not to do and the consequences of making wrong choices. She had no clue what the word itself meant, but she had learned a lot about what "ex" meant. "Ex" meant "not." An "ex-doctor" was once a doctor, but can't practice medicine anymore. When a person in our society refers to someone as their "ex," they are talking about a person- often nastily- who they have rejected as a partner in life. When you go out of a place you "exit." If your food is spoiled or rotten, or if someone dies, we use the word "expire." So, it only made sense that when this "ex" word was talked about in the scriptures it was NOT a good thing.

Then one Sunday a few years back, when she was a freshman in High School, her Sunday school teacher began to talk about exaltation and how it should be our goal. At first she was perplexed, but as she listened she realized that the definition she had assigned to the word as a child was not exactly what it meant. She realized that in the time since she had made her decision about what "exalt" must mean, she had learned that "ex" means much more than "not." It means "outside of" or "beyond" and can be a positive thing- as in the words "excite" or "excellent." However, she was accustomed to thinking of "exalt" as being a negative word- the worst state that could happen to you- and knowing she had misunderstood didn't stop the feelings she had always associated with the word from reoccurring each time she heard it, so it was not her favorite word. Our discussion was a lovely moment of shared humor, in which I shared a few of my own "exalting" experiences with gospel vocabulary.
The experience led me to think of some of the more serious misunderstandings I've encountered concerning the gospel and how they can completely obscure our feelings of hope and excitement. I clearly remember the discussion about God I participated in at a summer writing camp after my junior year in high school. After the discussion, one girl, who became a very good friend, opened up and talked of how she almost wished she could believe there was no God. Her image of God was of a very powerful being who did everything right and had little tolerance for foolish mortals. Her exact words were, "I feel as if He is just waiting for me to make a serious mistake, so He can squish me like a bug."
One of the reasons that memory crystallized for me, was because, at that moment I just couldn't offer her reassurance she was wrong. I wasn't sure. In fact, I felt as if she had given voice to thoughts and feelings I had, but was reluctant to admit. And I associated those feeling with the word "God" for a long time after. I know whether within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or the Christian world at large, I am not alone. I recently read an article in which the author summed it up so well: "Somehow God had become the great accuser and punisher rather than the great redeemer and advocate. That doesn't seem like good news." (H. William Goddard,"God's Plan: Kinder Than We Dare Expect" http://www.ldsmag.com/myth/060217plan.html)

Yet, despite once seeing God as my most sever critic, here I now sit, absolutely sure- more sure than I am that the sun will rise tomorrow- that Heavenly Father is real and that he loves and treasure his children with a depth I am at a loss to put into words. How did such a marvelous, miraculous, change in understanding happen? Why is it I feel more joy and excitement about living now than I did when I was my daughter's age? Why am I so certain that the same change can happen for her?

Because the how and why to receive such a change is not mystery. It was there and available long before I took my Father up on His offer. It is not a selective gift, but there for all His beloved children. And our loving Father has prepared for the unique struggles of our generation. When my daughter and I had that discussion, it was at the end of her junior year and I knew in a few months she would begin a new year, and her course of study in Seminary would be the Book of Mormon. I felt such a peace knowing that she would not only be continuing in learning about our Father from the source, so to speak, but from the book that was designed, in part, for the purpose of clearing up these types of misunderstandings.

“It is not just that the Book of Mormon teaches us truth, though it indeed does that. It is not just that the Book of Mormon bears testimony of Christ, though it indeed does that, too. But there is something more. There is a power in the book which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book. You will find greater power to resist temptation. You will find the power to avoid deception. You will find the power to stay on the strait and narrow path. The scriptures are called ‘the words of life’ (D&C 84:85), and nowhere is that more true than it is of the Book of Mormon. When you begin to hunger and thirst after those words, you will find life in greater and greater abundance” (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Book of Mormon—Keystone of Our Religion,” Ensign, Nov. 1986, 7).

I've come to think of the Book of Mormon as my "how to" book for life: How to "ask" and How to "receive;" How to "experiment upon the word" to know if there is indeed a God, and a Christ; How to "come unto Christ" and learn of His "infinite atonement;" How to see and better understand His declarations of love and guidance in all His other words; And above all - How to know what we can do to access (or more correctly, how to exercise our agency to show our willingness to receive) the cleansing, healing, strengthening, enabling power of that infinite atonement.

I don't have to have all the answers now- in fact, like my daughter that day in her Sunday school class- I am quite confident I will yet have many, um, learning moments. As I recently reflected at the end of my most recent trip through the Book of Mormon:

So much to learn, and so little time. And how to begin. I feel as if I have just opened a door to a what I thought was a great treasure room, only to discover, that though it is filled to the brim with treasures so great I can't take it all in, the room is not a room after all, but the treasure I can now behold stretches beyond the horizon and I can't help but thrill at the thought of what lies beyond the horizon. This mortal journey is just a beginning, but an important beginning. There is so, so much! Scripture such as 1 Corithians 2:9, are really, really true! 

But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

Here is to the hope, promise, and excitement of future exploration!

Lost in Translation

Anyone who has traveled in a foreign country probably has a humorous antidote to tell about what was lost in translation. I had the opportunity to travel to Germany on a school exchange when I was 14. We went for six weeks, and there was a corresponding group of students from a high school in Bonn, Germany. They stayed in our homes, while in the U.S., and we stayed with them. During the first few weeks we stayed in Bonn, we attended school, theoretically immersing ourselves in the language and preparing for a trip to various other German cities and landmarks. Special time was spent in teaching us key "emergency" phrases. Truthfully, I was overwhelmed with all there was to do and see and I chose to join with those who often skipped classes. Most of the shops in Bonn had clerks that knew adequate English. I felt pretty confident that I hadn't missed anything important.

However, one evening in the midst of Köln, I found myself with just another American student. We had gotten separated from the group, finished looking around and shopping, and desperately wanted to get back to the youth hostel where we were staying. There seemed to be no choice but to ask for directions, though there weren't many people to choose from. It was decided I was better at the language so when we saw a clean cut young man, we decided to ask. I consulted my German/English dictionary to be safe, and felt confident I knew how to clearly ASK if he could give DIRECTIONS to the youth hostel. In response his face lit up, he walked over put his arm around me, and leaned down to whisper his response suggestively in my ear. Being a conservative, religious farm girl from Idaho, I was shocked and repelled. I pushed him away with a NEIN! He looked confused and irritated, and we quickly walked away, really disgusted that this obviously older young man would try to take advantage of our being lost like that. We then tried prayer, and did find our way back to the youth hostel.

Later, when we related the incident to the German students, the boys in the group burst out laughing. Seems I got it a bit mixed up. The words I used weren't wrong- taken separately they meant just what I thought they did- but use that verb tense and word order, and from the young man's perspective I had not ASKED for directions, but DIRECTED the young man to accompany me back to the youth hostel - in that time and culture a clear invitation to um…. Needless to say, I took the time to learn the right way to ask for directions and just to be sure, I didn't go out sightseeing again without a German student.

Prior to this moment, the only place I wrote (or spoke) about that incident was in the journal I kept during my visit to Germany. But I have thought about it from time to time. Especially after I received those "personal parables" I wrote about in my last blog. Just as there was a huge gap between the true thoughts and intents of my heart and what that family of robins perceived them to be, the experience with my son showed me there was a huge gap between the thoughts and intents of my Heavenly Father, and what I perceived them to be. But, we are clearly taught that the reverse is not true. He has a perfect understanding of the thoughts and intents of our hearts. (See Alma 12:7, Alma 18:32, Doctrine & Covenants 6:16) And He earnestly desires that we should know of His love for us. (John 3:16, Jeremiah 31:3, 2 Nephi 26:26 for a very few examples of many, many.) So why did I tend to see God first as an authoritarian- who hated my weakness and expected perfect obedience and who delighted in punishing me when I made mistakes- rather than a loving Father who designed this whole mortal experience so that I might learn and grow, and who patiently and lovingly walks beside me, cheering on my weaker steps, and giving me His hand to strengthen me as I learn. And why, after many years of having that misconception, did it begin to change? Why did I begin to see in baby's steps and robin's wings manifestations of God's love?

That mortifying experience from my youth seemed to hold a key to my question. The young man had misunderstood the thoughts and intents of my heart because I had not taken the time to become conversant in his language. I had the opportunity to learn the German phrase I needed before I ever left the U.S. Moreover, I had several opportunities to learn and practice the German language, both at school and in my exchange partner's home. I just really didn't feel the need- assuming what I knew to be quite adequate. You might say I had an attitude of a sightseer rather than a student. In the same way, a few years prior to the experience with my son, I realized I had never really treated the gospel like other subjects that really interested me. When we studied Egypt in 4th grade, I went to the library and found out everything I could on the subject. When we studied Greek mythology, I read everything I could get my hands on about it. In fact, I think it safe to say I had studied texts about Medieval Christianity more than the precious scriptures themselves. Up until I faced some adult difficulties, I just really didn't feel the need to be a student of the scriptures the way I had been a student of so many other things. I really felt, having grown up in a home where the gospel was available, I knew enough. And like my German partner and the Bonn school teachers, the Lord doesn't ever force his children. Instead he offers, if we desire it, and recognize our need to learn, to teach us "line upon line." If we continue as His student He promises that we can "know the mysteries of God until (we) know them in full." (James 1:5, Isaiah 28:9-10, Alma 12:10) In short he promises we will become conversant in His language, understand Him clearly, and "feel encircled about eternally in the arms of his love." (1 Nephi 1:15) In those "personal parables" was my personal "hug" and manifestation that His promise was beginning to happen in my life. God cannot lie. When I saw myself first and foremost as a student, sorely in need of wisdom, learning at His feet; when I made a daily effort to "feast upon the words of Christ," trusting His promise that they would "tell (me) all things what (I) should do;" I began to see and feel his love and learn his ways, just as every one of His children who seeks him does. I think what amazed me most, and continues to amaze me, was how deeply individual and personal is His teaching method. I guess I was and am learning what Elder Ballard so eloquently taught:

Brothers and sisters, I believe that if we could truly understand the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ, we would realize how precious is one son or daughter of God….Sadly, in today’s world, a person’s importance is often judged by the size of the audience before which he or she performs. That is how media and sports programs are rated, how corporate prominence is sometimes determined, and often how governmental rank is obtained...Yet, in the eyes of the Lord, there may be only one size of audience that is of lasting importance—and that is just one, each one, you and me, and each one of the children of God.

"Of Babies and Birds" or "Personal Parables"

In Moses 7:63, the Savior instructs Adam that "all things are created and made to bear record of me." The Savior illustrated this in the way he taught during his earthly ministry- largely by using everyday occurrences in parables to illustrate His gospel. One of my favorite is the simple scripture, "Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. but the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31) It is but one of many, many times the Lord declares his love and devotion to His children. This one I love because it focuses on how individually precious we are to him. With that in mind I have found life to be series of "personal parables," if you will, in which the Lord helps me understand His love and His will for me.

One of the first, and most treasured, was when my youngest son was learning to walk, I was blessed to be teaching early morning seminary. With a baby and two elementary aged children, I often felt my seminary preparation was less than it should be, but having to have a lesson prepared each morning meant my mind was constantly mulling over the next section, and I loved the feel that brought to my life- like the Lord was more visible and real. However, it also brought into focus all the ways my life was less than it should be, and I just knew, after all he had done and given for me, He was disappointed, perhaps even angry with me. Then came the afternoon Jacob decided to take his first steps. He had pulled himself up using the couch and stood facing me grinning. I grinned back and encouraged him to "come to mommy" and he did. I, of course, was so excited! I laughed and hugged and kissed him, and he laughed. And we were soon doing it again. It suddenly occurred to me that I had gravely mistaken God's view of my life. He clearly tells me that I am his child; he clearly tells me "as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Romans 8:16-17, Isaiah 55:9) He clearly tells me that He is the perfect embodiment of love. If, in my love for my son, my only thought at his attempts to walk were joy, excitement, and a determination to offer him all he needed to succeed, why on earth did I credit God with such a different response to my imperfect steps? I couldn't imagine anything more painful than to have had my treasured child respond to this wonderful milestone in his development by turning away from me in shame and self criticism. This marvelous mortal opportunity was provided expressly to give us the opportunity to choose to walk like our father. And just as gravity made it possible for Jacob to learn to walk, Heavenly Father provided the opposing forces necessary for us to learn to walk like Him. What would happen, I wondered, if I changed my thoughts to a certainty that the Lord was cheering me on in my feeble attempts. That his arm was truly there for the purpose of helping me gain confidence in my steps. That he understood, far more than me, what a gradual process it was. And, like I did with my son, he treasured the joy of helping me through that process.

Oh, to capture and keep the peace and joy of moment. My former habits had not been to see the Lord in this way, and so my first attempts to live life with that perspective were very unsure. But, I felt the Lord’s support in other “personal parables. ” For instance, a few years later, a baby robin, just learning to fly, got into our garage. My husband had been working on his dirt bike, changing the oil and had left a small bucket of oil out uncovered. I heard a horrible squawking out in the garage and discovered the baby had fallen into the oil and the mother and father were frantically swooping around the bucket. I scooped the baby out of the oil and ran into the kitchen, and very grateful for Discovery TV, and its special on oil spill cleanups off the Alaskan coast; used a bit of dish washing soap to try and save the bird. After I cleaned up what I could, I set him outside hoping his parents would reclaim him. They did, and his father, a robin with a very distinctive large tuff of feathers on his head, literally chased me back into the house. I know that the baby bird survived, because, unlike his nest mates, he never left his parents. I saw him next only a few days later. He was struggling to fly straight. I drew closer to make sure he was "my" bird and his parents closed in squawking and diving around my head. It was obviously not with gratitude they remembered me! No, from their perspective I was obviously not a loving friend who had tearfully worked and prayed to save their child's life. Rather, they felt I was an awful fiend who had caused them great grief and they used considerable wasted energy striving to make sure I would not harm their family again.

I saw the trio from time to time when I went on walks in my neighborhood. I always knew when we met up because the protective father, with his very distinctive tuff, would swoop down on me, trying to drive me away from their current position. I in turn, felt a great deal of affection for this beautiful family whose lives had crossed with mine, and so, as to not cause them any further distress I tried to keep my distance. I couldn't help but reflect on how large the gap was between what the real thoughts and intents of my heart were, and what they perceived them to be. And suddenly this very everyday occurrence became another personal parable which illustrated what the Lord tried to tell the people of Judah, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

What really hit home was that I had read that scripture, which had been in Jeremiah my whole life, including one round of teaching the Old Testament in early morning seminary, but never really noticed it until I read it quoted in a fiction book one day after a walk- and a robin dive bombing. I thought about the times I had been so busy "dive bombing" the Lord for things I did not like in my life. I thought about the fact, that like the birds with me, I could not both "dive bomb" and welcome the Lord's loving presence. And I recalled, and felt again, the wonder of the day my son learned to walk. Yes, all things do testify of him- even things as small and ordinary as a bird or a baby.