No Mountains Required

I have a very poor sense of direction. I think it's safe to say I'm directionally challenged. I can't tell you how many times, as we moved from place to place, I've told my kids we were exploring, when in fact (and they knew it) we were lost. I didn't realize exactly how challenged I was until we moved away from the mountains. You see, if I could see the mountains I could get my bearings- the mountains are to the west, or that mountain is to the west and that one to the North West. And then at least I knew the direction to go to find my way back to familiar territory.

When we moved to Ohio there were no mountains. It was a horrifying sensation- like vertigo- I had no way to get my bearings. I did a lot more "exploring," learned to carry a map, a cell phone, and a well marked map. (Thank goodness it was Dayton, Ohio and not, say, New York, New York!) When it came time to get a new car, we got one with a compass. Yes I found a way to find my bearings, but I missed the mountains. It is really so much less work to find your way when there is a huge, beautiful rock standing sentinel and giving clear direction.

Perhaps I was a little imaginative, but I felt the direction the mountains gave me was very personal. Like they were truly kind hearted giants who wished we would pay a bit more attention to what they have to say. As a teenager, one mountain was a particular source of perspective. When school, friends and family pressure seemed too much, I had only to walk out my back door and I could climb to a higher, peaceful place. The climb took effort and time. First I would go through fields and farmland, up the side until I reached a maple grove about 2/3 the way up the mountain. There was a large half exposed rock perfect for sitting on and enjoying the view. There was something amazing about seeing the house I lived in, my family, our farm, and most of the surrounding community from that exalted view.

In a field near my home was a ruin of an old homestead. From my seat in the maples, they seemed almost side by side- the living farm and ruined homestead. Those people who built it were not, at first glance, a part of my life, but the mountains had seen them come, had seen them go, had seen the house they built fall into ruin. Had seen new homes built, new families come and go. It was as if for a moment I was given insight into what really matters. That homestead family didn't take their home with them. They didn't take any money with them. What they had left behind had fallen into decay and all but disappeared- but they did leave something behind in settling the valley. Because they were among those who came and settled a community was made- a community which included my great grandparents and led, eventually to my life. What mattered most was that they built and how what they built rippled through the lives of others. It was almost as if, while I was up there the mountains shared their perspective, and when I went back home I took that with me, for at least a little while, a more clear understanding about what really matters and what really lasts in life and beyond.

And so it was that one day, in my late-twenties, I found myself staring out my living room window at the flat landscape. I had a lesson to prepare, a disaster of a house to clean, a baby soon to wake up, and two children soon home from school. I couldn't see beyond the trees and houses on the other side of the street. As much as I found the verdant green of Ohio enchanting, I also found it claustrophobic. How I longed to be able to walk out my door and climb to a place of peace and perspective. How tired I was of feeling disoriented and confused about which way was north. I wanted mountains and I was stuck in the flat, flat Midwest. I was on the verge of a really, really great pity party, but then a question crossed my mind that made me stop and reconsider.

Who made the mountains? I thought of how, in the Old Testament block we were studying the Lord was likened to a rock and a fortress. We had just finished He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly moved (Psalm 62:2). Did you know that the word used for "rock" has a cultural meaning beyond just rock? It was used to indicate a high place, easily visible, so it served as a beacon and gathering point in times of trouble. It was a place that would give safety, peace, protection, not only because it was made of hard enduring stone, was high up and hard for the enemy to reach, but because it provided and uncluttered view.

What those mountains meant to me, what I was really missing and wanting was the feeling of peace and increased perspective I had perched on my rock in the maple grove. I needed to know that the endless diapers, lessons, cleaning, homework, etc., where building something of value and it was hard to see that from my current perspective. Then I remembered the wonderful word's of Isaiah 40, where he paints how clear is the Lord's perspective; how complete, as compared to how limited ours is. Who hath measured the water in the hollow of his hand…and the dust of the earth in a measure, and weighted the mountains in scales…it is he that sitteth upon the circle of the earth, and the in habitants there of are as grasshoppers…but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles." (Isaiah 4:15,22,31)

Clearly, my experiences with mountains were not given to me by the mountains, but were given through the mountains by their creator and my loving Heavenly Father. He sent my Savior and teacher to be that place of refuge, peace and perspective. The peace, the increased perspective, were gifts from Him, and so not dependant on my having access to the mountains themselves. If I live my life with Him as my point of orientation, I will be able to find direction. If I turn to Him to find increased perspective and peace, He can grant it. It is a climb that takes more than a bit of effort on my part, but whether I am in Ohio or Timbuktu, the "mountain of the Lord" is always available to me.

An Important Question

A few years back I was asked to give a fireside to the youth on the gift of the Holy Ghost. To begin the discussion I held up this visual and asked if someone would please tell me what it said. There was snickering, and shaking of heads. I asked them if they thought it was impossible for anyone to read it. They replied that it looked like a real language, and there were probably lots of people who could read it. One of the youth leaders, who had gone on a mission to Germany, piped in and said he was pretty sure it was German and had something to do with walking. I said he was right, and asked how come he was able to understand more than the rest of them. Of course, it was because he had actually taken the time and effort to study the language. I then held up the translation, and we discussed how, after taking the time and effort to listen to me and read the translation, which they all readily understood, understanding the original phrase was no longer difficult.

There was one series of questions that arose I particularly enjoyed discussing: Why would a loving Heavenly Father, who desires every one of His children to return to him, not make Himself more obvious? Why is so much effort needed to "become conversant in the language of the Holy Spirit?" How come he allows for so much to be "lost in translation?"  It was a question I had deeply struggled with, and a quick search on the web will bring up a dozen variations on this question. I have seen this question cynically used to argue against the existence of God, or against the existence of a loving, all powerful God. I can follow that line of reasoning very well, because for a short time in my life, I spouted it: If God is truly all powerful and loves his children, he would not leave them with any question about his existence or love. Many of His children question his love and whether or not He even exists. Therefore….

Yes, I was a philosophy major in college. And one thing that was drilled into my head was that a conclusion reached on the basis of faulty facts is highly suspect. The first part of this argument completely ignores a possible, and very true, alternative: Could there be a loving, eternally important reason why in mortality we are required to put forth effort to communicate and learn from our Heavenly Father? Could this mortal condition of not clearly remembering our Heavenly Father be a gift from Him?

Interestingly enough, the language exercise I chose at random, was used by one of youth to give a wonderfully insightful answer. (He thought I chose the phrase I did for exactly that purpose. Isn't it the most wonderful thing in the world when people think you are smarter than you are?) I marveled that he was able to explain so simply something that I had struggled with so much at his age. (Truth be told, his way of explaining it was so simple compared to mine. I so want to learn the art of stating truth simply!)

This young man used the example of his parents and how they did not approve of certain behaviors, such as lying, cheating and stealing. Like most children, he remembered being punished when he got caught stealing at a very young age. He was a quick learner and he made sure he did not lie, cheat or steal in front of his parents. He wasn't even tempted to try when they where around. The price for doing so was too high. The threat of getting caught, or that they might find out was also a pretty good deterrent, even when they weren't around.

As he was getting older and doing more and more without his parents' supervision, he felt he was entering a world where he had the freedom to truly decide for himself if he believed what his parents did. In a short time he would be at college and could easily "cover up" behavior his parents didn't approve of. Moreover, they would no longer have the authority to discipline him in the same way. When he was a boy and saw a candy bar he longed for but couldn't buy, his reasons for not stealing were his mother standing close buy, and the fear of disappointing her and getting in trouble. Now, when he was often at the store without any supervision, his reason for not trying to steal a CD or MP3 player he couldn't afford was because he honestly felt it was wrong. The realization of what he really believed would not have been possible is his parents had always had the type a constant presence they did in his young life. The increase in freedom he had as he grew up let him decide. So it is with this mortal opportunity. Our loving Heavenly Father created this mortal experience so that we would be truly free to decide if we want to accept Christ's invitation to "come follow me" and "walk beside him because (we) are going the same way."

I thought that young man's "personal parable" explained the importance of what we call "moral agency" marvelously. And it brought out how, far from showing a lack of God's existence or his love, it manifests the depth of his love. He loves us enough to create this world 'free of charge' so to speak, and sustain it, including our own breath, even when we use that breath to denounce Him. He loves us enough to sustain a veil that allows us to be away from his presence enough to truly choose if we want his presence. He loves us enough to let us go, knowing we might choose to stay away from Him forever. He love us enough to let us choose the type of life we want, even if He knows it isn't the best for us. And He loves us enough to consistently, patiently do all that He can to make Himself available to us, if we decide we do want to be his child, student, disciple and heir.

Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God's greatest gift to man. Freedom of choice is more to be treasured than any possession earth can give. It is inherent in the spirit of man. It is a divine gift to every…being….Free agency is the impelling source of the soul's progress. It is the purpose of the lord that man become like Him. In order for man to achieve this it was necessary for the Creator first to make him free. ---David O Mckay

So what if we decide we do want to learn from Him. Make the most of this opportunity He has provided for us. Well, the answers have always been the same- funny they seemed to be much more instructive and appealing when I began to rediscover them, by my own choice, in my mid-twenties. Here are a few of my most recent favorite quotes on the subject.

The Lord will not force you to learn. You must exercise your agency to authorize the Spirit to teach you. (Richard G. Scott, “To Acquire Spiritual Guidance,” Ensign, Nov 2009, 6–9)

(Scripture) study is and act of faith requiring the use of personal agency. (Preach My Gospel [2004], 17).

Prayer is an act of faith through which we petition our Father in Heaven regarding our needs. It is not a means to change God, but rather a way to change ourselves as we submit our minds and hearts to his will. (‘More Purpose in Prayer’,” Ensign, Jun 1995, 55)

For when we want to speak to God, we pray. And when we want Him to speak to us, we search the scriptures. (Robert D. Hales, "Holy Scriptures," Ensign, Nov. 2006, p4)